Birth
by tehzo
Summary: Chlex angst. “I wasn’t fighting against fate, Lex! I was fighting against you!” she cried out.


Title: Birth

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of or related to Smallville.

A/N: This kind of just popped out of my head. So, sorry for the weirdness of it.

Feedback: Needed, wanted, appreciated! Pretty, pretty, pleeeease send reviews!

* * *

**Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.**

* * *

_"I must say that I'm surprised to see you here, Ms. Sullivan." Lionel's handcuffed hands rested in his lap. His posture held straight, showing importance to her presence._

_The plain, thin steel table elevated the uneasiness in her nerves. The muscles in her arms tightly clenched the black purse in her lap. She had to prevent herself from shaking, not in the fear of appearing weak, but being inadequate to speak. Was it her own suggestive inner-workings that caused the phrase 'this is madness' to repeat itself in her mind? Or was it simply fitting for the situation? The strings pulled at both questions equally._

_"Hello, Mr. Luthor." She silently congratulated herself on the small victory of her unwavering voice._

_"Please call me Lionel, Ms. Sullivan. You've most certainly shown that you're capable of being in the same league."_

_That one hurt. A long time ago, Lex had said the same thing. A wooden spear dashed through her lungs and caught the oncoming breath in her throat. In her opinion, it had been incredibly overdue that she'd finally come to possess the talent of successfully reading people. Of course it did help with the speed of the process that she had Lex to observe. She could tell Lionel was being sincere. Gone were the subtle threats and the figurative, quiet, painful punches._

_For a split second, the spear mutated into a slithering snake embodying terror and wrapped itself around her throat. Chloe Sullivan was no stranger to terror. The countless near-death experiences were a factor that contributed to that. But...there was something else that also made her familiar to it. She could clearly recall every single time terror had presented itself when Lionel's distinct voice stretched like a lion's claws out of Lex's mouth. At times like those, her will failed her and the fight between running away or shaking some sense into Lex, emerged._

_This...this was life's way of displaying its cruel sense of humor. Lex retaining some of Lionel's undesirable qualities was inevitable. It's human nature to learn and imitate our elders. But...Chloe could swear that...to hear the father speak with its successor's voice was...soaring her to the inevitability in her blood. She ached for the blanket of denial that refused to materialize._

_Lex's voice swept through her mind. 'In front of an enemy as formidable as my father, never show your weakness, remain emotionless - physically and mentally. Only then do you carry power, when the firm grasp on your anger and fear forces your opponent to lose faith in his ability. He won't be able to tell what's going on in that head of yours.' Were those his own words or another batch borrowed form his father? It didn't matter now, Chloe didn't care. There was no upper-hand to be had in this._

_Lex would have disapproved of the hint of exhaustion revealed in her tone, "Then I have to insist on you calling me Chloe. After all, I am dating your son." A day after the world discovered their relationship, they'd each received a bouquet of white roses courtesy of Lionel Luthor. Their cards were identical, the sentiment carved in stylish black cursive - 'Congratulations on finding each other.'_

_Chloe had burned the roses along with the note._

_A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he spoke again with sincerity, "I'd like to inquire about your relationship, but I know that you wouldn't appreciate it." His posture remained the same. She'd almost expected him to lean back as a means of exhibiting the effortless power he still maintained behind the many steel bars. "So, what can I do for you, Chloe?"_

_She wanted to flinch at hearing her name from his mouth but reigned in the reflex. "I'm not really sure," she couldn't bring herself to care about appearing in control. She was tired of pretending. "Part of it is...that I wanted to personally see this supposed miraculous change. You've always been a great actor, haven't you, Lionel?"_

_His smile disappeared. He leaned forward and placed his cuffed-hands on the table. The clanking of metal startled her despite it happening in front of her. "I don't have one regret in life, I have many. I felt the unexplainable change in me suddenly and strongly. It was a miracle," he said. "But, you've been here before after it happened. I'm curious as to what's different now."_

_"Maybe...now, I'm accepting that there's a possibility." She lowered her head. Should she feel bad that that was the truth?_

_Lionel spoke after a moment's of silence, "Why are you really here, Chloe?"_

_Her brows wrinkled almost sorrowfully, "I...it was an impulse. I never planned to come here." She chuckled, "I mean, what kind of sane person would come to see the man who tried to once kill them?" She shook her head to try and avert from the dangerous thoughts. "I once told Lex that he was the lesser of two evils. I guess it's because there's more at stake now that I've finally realized the implication behind that statement." She returned her gaze to Lionel, "When the greater evil is locked up, wh-what happens to the lesser evil? What happens when it finally receives its freedom from the constant weight that used to reside above it?"_

_She was babbling. She'd punish herself severely if her emotions drove her to break down in the middle of a men's penitentiary. She provided the answers to her questions. "The lesser evil reigns freely by itself. No restraints, no rules. There's nothing to fight against now because it's won. It's free to grow into the.....the greater evil." Chloe slowly stood up, trying to come to terms with what she already knew. Out of everyone, she'd unconsciously chosen Lionel Luthor to be her shoulder to cry on. She needed to leave, needed to run away from there quickly. She started walking away when Lionel called out to her. Hesitantly, she turned to face him. He seemed to be struggling with his thoughts or words. Struggling to give comfort._

_"The other day...I had this strange...well, perhaps not strange, but a sudden feeling. It won't be possible, but I would have liked to see the day you become my daughter-in-law."_

_Chloe stood motionless and emotionless. Lex would be proud of the latter. She turned around and walked away silently._

_Whether sincere or cruel, it was all the same. Life had doomed the Luthors to creating only one ending - pain._

* * *

A tremor was traveling through each vein. Her body was shaking visibly. The shaking alone should have scared her out of driving. But the only thing occupying her mind was her destination. The needle of the speedometer continued to glide upwards. There was a very good risk of crashing, but slowing down would obviously render getting there as soon as possible. 

_His_ life was more important than hers. She loved _his_ life more than her own.

She hadn't eaten anything the entire day. A headache was rapidly forming along with the feeling for the need to vomit. She couldn't stop though. Couldn't slow down. She couldn't even lighten the load by crying for fear of her blurred vision endangering the chances of reaching there in one piece.

"Please, God, grant me this _one_ thing. _Just _this one thing. Even if I beg for my life in the future, disregard it. But just give me this. Let me get there early, on time. Just please let it not be too late. _Please, please, please_."

Sickness was blackening her soul. Tempting it to give up. To stop the car or run it off somewhere.

"..._please, please, please_."

* * *

Fate gripped Lex's wrist and drew it upward. This was destined to happen. There was no other solution. It was meant to be. 

Although, in every imagined scenario, his hand had always shaken. It surprised him that now, in the real act, his hand was as steady as a brick. The heavy steel didn't slip from his grasp. Instead, his fingers wrapped around the gun with certainty. His salvation and freedom were at stake. He not only could, but would do it.

* * *

Chloe jumped out of the car. The engine continued to hum as she ran to the front door.

* * *

There was nothing to say, no last words. His finger squeezed the trigger, and he shot once. 

Twice.

Again.

And again.

And again.

The wounded fell to his knees just as Chloe appeared in the doorway. Shock cemented her feet to the floor.

Blood spilled freely onto the stainless wooden floor. "I'm glad, I deserved much worse. At least now I won't live to see the downfall of my son." His body fell forward to the ground.

Chloe scrunched her eyes shut, a gasp escaping her mouth. Oh, how she now wished to have been a few seconds late. To have been too late to hear Lionel Luthor's last words.

But she had been too late. Never-mind the insanity, she suddenly felt an urge to smear her hands in his blood. Lionel's blood could be on her hands too.

She opened her eyes. Reluctantly and terrified, she set her eyes on the man she loved. "Lex..."

His eyes were focused on Lionel's lifeless body. Just as her, his gaze was reluctant to make contact. He finally looked at her, his voice conveyed the regret he felt at her witnessing what she just did, "Chloe, what are you doing here?"

She was here to stab a knife through her heart and dully watch the tears it produced. "What have you done?" She shouldn't have expected him to answer. He stared at her. Why wasn't he crying? Why wasn't he falling to his knees repeating 'what have I done?' in a regretful and depressed manner? Was that only in the movies? "Don't ask questions to which the answers are p-painstakingly obvious, Chloe. That's what you want to say, right?" Again he didn't respond. "Did you know?"

Lex turned around and lethargically placed the gun on the glass desk. "The answer you gave to your first question still applies."

Don't cry, Chloe. Don't you dare cry. Deliver the blows and collect the punches. The waterfalls can come later. "I know, I know......I just...was wondering if I'd get some ridiculous, but valid explanation that would make this all better."

He turned around, "That's not how it works in real life."

"God-damn it, Lex. You just killed your father!!!" Chloe screamed as she took two steps toward him. "Are you so cold...so dead inside that you can't show even a hint of remorse? You haven't even flinched and the blood is still flowing from his body."

Lex's steely eyes hardened, "I did what I had to do," he said. "_Remorse_?" he questioned with incredulity a beat later. "Why in the hell would I feel _remorse_? I'm happy that he's dead." He turned to his desk again. He tried to calm down, but couldn't stop the anger from blowing over. He violently threw the glass jug on his desk to the floor before facing Chloe again. "The only thing he's ever blessed me with is misery. He's hurt, _killed_ so many people," he spat out venomously. He walked over and held her head with hands, "He tried to kill _you_, Chloe. Out of his own mouth, he deserved death and much worse. This was meant to happen, Chloe. It was destined."

Chloe tore his hands away and threw them down. She backed away with a few steps to prevent herself from digging her nails into his arms and giving him a good shake. "To hell with your screwed up definition of destiny, Lex!! _Nothing_ is ever _destined_. Destiny is what all the choices _we_ make lead up to." She lost. If she stayed, would she get caught in the whirlpool right at Lex's side that only fell to darkness? She was thankful that the numbness was beginning to settle in. Her feet managed to carry her to the black, leather couch. She fell on it almost in exhaustion. "I should have gotten here quicker. Why did I have to get here too late?"

Lex moved over to the couch and knelt down in front of her. "You couldn't have done anything to change this. I told you, this is Fate's doing."

Why was it gradually becoming more and more difficult to feel the love she had for th-this automaton? "I wasn't fighting against fate, Lex! I was fighting against _you_!" she cried out. "It's always been you." He sat down next to her. In any other situation, she would have smiled, Lex Luthor didn't belong next to anyone's feet. Some clarity was shining through. He needed to understand that this was final. Her emotions weren't erratic for him to calm her down like an out-of-control child. "You're a murderer just like your father, Lex. Congrats." She distanced herself from him; her skin was prickling from his closeness.

Chloe couldn't scream anymore because of her coarse throat. She had to be calm, talk in sensible tone. Otherwise he would think that there was still a chance. She didn't want to give him false hope. "Three days ago, you found out that for the past few weeks the source of all your problems has been Camus. He'd been framing your father because he _knew_ you'd happily believe that. The spies..._all_ the complications at LexCorp. was Camus's work. But, _you_...you pretended to never have been informed of this. Thus, giving you a justified reason to off your father."

She shook her head slightly, "I'm the only one who would have cared though. I'm the only one who knows you close and personally. I just don't get it. It doesn't make sense. Even if I didn't figure it out, and blindly thought that Lionel was making our life hell again...did you think that I would want you to kill him? I mean...did you think that after, I would come and hold your bloody hands? You should have known better, Lex."

Something sparked in Lex's eyes. Maybe he was understanding now. Maybe he already knew. "You gave him a chance. You _even _visited him in _prison_, Chloe. And you feel pain at his death. But when it comes to me - the man you _love_, the man you're going to _marry_, you only have harsh judgment. My sins aren't even in the range of being compared to the magnitude of my father's," he was standing up now. Chloe was glad she'd seen him in anger plenty of times before. If she weren't used to it, she'd be cowering in fear right about now. "I did the world a favor by getting rid of a monster like him."

Chloe sighed, sorrow mingled with resignation, "You.....you didn't get rid of a monster. You just...shot him into retirement and took his place."

Her words seemed to have stung...but only for a brief moment, like a fleeting thought. He reached out and held both of her hands, "We have a future, Chloe. We can get past this."

"We _had _a future, Lex. _You_ can get past this." She squeezed his hand on each emphasis. Stop fighting in a defeated battle, Lex. If she started to cry, he'd comfort her. She'd accept the comfort because of her weakness. Then, after pulling herself together, she'd have to break their hearts all over again.

He continued to hold on steadily, "Don't give up on me, Chloe. I love you."

"I can't give up on you, Lex. You've never wanted my help. You've always and always will do things by your own plan." She gently pulled her hands away. Would this be the last time she'd get to touch him? "I-I love you, too. Probably always will. But...for the first time...you've made me wish I didn't." She walked past him towards the door.

"I'll find you." Of course Lex knew she was going to disappear. He was a smart man.

Turning around, she nodded morosely. Her voice sounded almost child-like, like a bittersweet whisper, "If you do come for me and take me back, I'll make you choke the life out of me before I ever give myself to you again completely and truthfully." A single tear pulled away from the pools in her eyes. "Being with you will mean...my worst nightmares coming true. You've taken my love...my happiness, Lex. At least leave me my sanity."

* * *

"_Chloe?" _

"_Hmm?" She ran her fingers along the arms that warmly encircled her from behind. _

"_I love you."_

_Lex couldn't see the broad smile that graced her face. "It's a good feeling to be loved."_

_Chuckling, he gently nudged her head with his, "Yeah, it is." After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "Chloe?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Can you promise me you'll never leave me?"_

_She shifted her head and glanced up at him. He was barely able to contain his smile. She hit him in the stomach for his teasing. "No, I can't promise that because I don't have control over the future," for some reason she was answering seriously. "You know I don't like to lightly make promises. But...I can promise that if I ever do, it'll hurt more than I'd like to imagine." She held his arms tightly._


End file.
